i think it's time for a change. my job, my friends, my life, all are becoming monotonous and without reward. i mean, my friends are amazing, but i don't think i'm in a position to utilize the friendship they offer. i need to be friends with myself before i can reciprocate how amazing my friends are to me.
there's a part of me that really likes what i've become, given my past and everything i've overcome to get to this point. then there's another part, a seemingly greater part, that hates the chances i've been given and my failure to take full advantage of them. i should be somewhere else, somewhere better, somewhere less...cluttered. i can't help but feel i'll disappoint, if not my family and friends that've stood by me through everything, then myself. and i can't decide which would be worse.
so i'm going to be looking hard for that something. something more. something else. i'm not going to abandon what i have or give up on where i'm going, but my first change to change directions (as long as it's not backwards), i'm going to take it.
believe that.
