morbid mortality

i feel like i've been in a coma for eighteen years and i'm just now realizing what it feels like to live. i mean really live. fuck your routines. they're not gonna save you here. it's almost like a bad b-movie where you know what's going to happen next even before the score starts to build to an f-minor pentatonic scale, but you watch anyway, your eyes adhered to the screen. why? because we are a culture that loves to be wrong. we want to see the abortion happen without complications, but we want more to see the whore of a mother die in the process, proving that wholesome thoughts only appear in the nightmares of politions. why? because that would make our initial good-natured ignorance a waste of our time. so we root-root-root for love, justice, and that brave little toaster. because, well, nothing is worth never having to be wrong.

pull cards and bed sheets

never been one to complain
about the rain
or be so profane
you'd think i got mush for brains
but it's all the same
another day, another dame
when they don't know your name
and you, not once, look at their face
'cause at this pace
we'll end the race
a whole nine laps
ahead of the chase
and when you trip
put out your hands to brace
yourself against these days
we've yet to face

when smoke signals fail to relay danger

this isn't the beauty in the sadness
or the order to my madness
this simply follows the addage that
chaos isn't only found in the mind of the savage
so what're you looking for
with that gleam in your eye you're
just hoping to find something more
than you've been promised all those times before
first i look at your past
then i tear it in half
dividing all the good from the bad
setting each stack aflame
and seeing which one will longer last
as the smoke clears
and adheres
to the rivers of tears
caused by the fear
that each year
becomes harder to persevere
you slowly start turning
your head to the still burning
soon becoming ashes, but lasting
longer than the now wind-catching
stacks of pros and cons
and find the will to move on
when you realize that it's not the cons
of your life that still burns bright
now look this savage in the eye
and see his chaos come alive
'cause it's the beauty in
the sadness of your sigh
you let that you're relieved
that takes the madness from my life

the repercushions of questioning bliss

this is just a plea
you must adhere to
will you break the rules
you set up so as to
keep your safely guarded
heart a me-proof operation
'cause my patience
wears thick wool and is
starting to make me sick
how much i put up with your shit
so why don't you take me into
wherever you've kept me
for so long now
how does sense vow
to make itself out of this:
just a kiss
i've questioned bliss with shaking fists
but open palms now greet it's qualms
so now is then my two sense spent
how much to rent your heart for a while
how about just a smile on my behalf
a courtesy laugh is all i ask
so answer me in silence
see these eyes will try
their best to hide your pain inside
their selfish pride
i'm here and always will be your sigh
just as the sun sighs at the night
for making it's light seem that much more

bright.