I woke up with a pain in my chest and a needle in my arm. The soothing hum of florescent lights buzzed above me. I touched my face and felt what I figured was about three days worth of facial hair growth. There was red pea coat laying over the back of a large chair that had been pulled ever so close to my bed. The familiar scent of rosewood and Pantene hung in the air, just enough to hide the musk of being bedridden.
I reached for the remote on the bed stand and turned on the small television bolted to the corner of the room and saw my face with the underline "Man survives freak construction accident." I could question this statement just as I could question my mere existence, but thought better of it. Better I wait for my bedside companion to ask any questions. Better to reflect on what I believe happened three days before.
I remember going over the proposed blueprints for the new housing development soon to go up on the site of an outdoor mall left dead by the recession. I remember scouting the demolition site and surveying the crane's strike points. I remember hearing the crackled words spew from my radio giving the go ahead to the operator. I remember feeling a need to go into the building. I remember staring out a window on the fourth story. I remember not being able to move. I remember the wrecking ball, however briefly. Didn't they know I was still in the building? Did I tell anyone? What was so important that I had to go back in? These are the questions I have, not that anyone would know except me. I still have to ask.
My thoughts stop cold as whispering words waft in from the hallway.
"He'll need to be watched for the next couple of days. His body is healing fine, but his mental state has yet to be determined."
My mental state? Besides being a little shook up, I feel fine. My thoughts are appreciative. I'm just glad I'm alive. I think.
Emilia whispered something appreciatively and opened the door. She saw I was awake and stood in the doorway for a second. She looked concerned. As she walked towards me and let the door close behind her, I caught a glimpse of a piece of paper taped to outside of the door. In thick black marker the words were written "Suicide Attempt". I watched the door close and let her stand by my side for a moment.
